Recently, when I was putting together a presentation for the Ontario Bar Association (OBA) I wasn’t convinced that talking about Starting Happy so that you can Finish Happy would entice a bunch of lawyers to come to the luncheon where I was to speak. This topic isn’t about trying to be all skip-happy with a giddy smile but upon introduction it might sound that way. It is a discussion about confidence in your preparation, dealing with hard conversations, anticipating change and challenge and knowing that you are the ‘someone’ that you’ve been waiting for. These four pillars create a “Start happy” foundation that is likely to lead to accomplishing your goals thus “Finishing Happy”. Still, I felt that idea of a discussion of being happy wouldn’t draw the lawyers in.
I then considered going with my core message, which is about a relentless pursuit of more. I was pretty sure that if I came at the lawyers with a presentation on doing more I’d lose the room too. This is a group of people who pride themselves on an extended and grueling education followed by a career of long days often clocking 60hr workweeks. If I pushed ‘more’ on this group – they might start throwing their buns at me!
The Start Happy/Finish Happy presentation had come from a conversation that I’d had in Sochi, which turned out to have a great impact on more than one person. I often use moments like that, concepts or ideas that come from interactions with ambitious driven people, as the foundation for the various speaking presentations that I give. The concept of more was no different. It came from my own experiences and was reinforced over the years by observations and conversations with many athletes that I’ve worked with. The idea is that when you’ve ambition to achieve a goal, when you get to that point where you think you’ve done everything, there is always a bit more that you can do; do more, be more, try more, learn more. But happiness and more just didn’t seem to be right to use as the framework for my OBA presentation.
Both concepts ‘Start Happy’ and ‘More’ apply to lawyers as much as anyone but I wanted to come at them from a different angle. So my brain stepped back from lessons that I had taken from isolated moments and considered my whole career of observed (and experienced) moments. It was one of the first times that I’d looked at it that way and I was struck by a sort of a-ha moment. Read on…
In 2012, Steve Nash wrote the the foreword to my book, The Power of More. I remain so grateful to this amazing Canadian. This week we learned that he has retired as a player from the NBA. In an article about Steve’s incredible legacy, The Globe and Mail columnist, Cathal Kelly wrote, “At 41, Mr. Nash had fully inhabited his imaginative space in NBA history. He was the skinny kid from Nowheresville (i.e. anywhere in Canada) who’d willed himself to the very top. He was a guy who’d outsmarted the game.” (full article)
Steve’s ability to “will” himself to the very top was because he, as he wrote in my book, believed in “taking the time to lay out your path in measurable steps, a practical approach can instill a beautiful confidence that comes from knowing you can actually achieve what you’re setting out to do.” Steve’s incredible work ethic is legendary – he always broke things down to their base details, drilled on those details until he mastered them and then used them to his greatest advantage. As Mr.Kelly also wrote “What Mr.Nash did in his prime…was marry the cerebral with the kinetic. His primary gift as a player was that he thought at speed. That’s what the best players do in any sport. They slow then bend time.”
Anytime you set a goal for yourself, you create the possibility of success; with Marnie’s book, you also create a plan to see it through.
When I was writing my book, The Power of More, I can’t tell you how thrilled and honoured I was when Steve agreed to write the foreword. Of all the global champions that I know from professional and olympic sport, and all the philanthropists, business people and politicians who have made their incredible successes seem easy – Steve was my first and best choice to ask. Knowing his attention to detail and dedication, I was sure that he would also embrace my concepts of breaking things down into manageable steps – and he did, and still does.
Steve’s foreword wraps up with him saying, “It teaches you that you can be excited about what comes next, and that you get to dictate so many of the terms for yourself. So read it, and then, as Thoreau said, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.”” Well Steve, I hope the same for you now. I hope that you will be excited about what comes next. Like the mythical phoenix (Phoenix Sun ?), from the ashes of the “1st death of an athlete” will rise something spectacular. Once you figure out the terms that you want to dictate to yourself – go confidently – I’ve no doubts your next career will be something pretty awesome.
Good luck and – thank you Steve.
Here is the foreword that Steve wrote for The Power of More – How Small Steps Can Help You Achieve Big Goals.
I’ve known Marnie since I was a teen, when she was training at the Victoria City Rowing Club in my hometown, and I’ve run into her at two Olympics since. Read on…
Believing that we can achieve success and big, seemingly infinite, goals can seem impossible for us “normal*” people. For the likes of Super Hero Buzz Lightyear, who will readily leap “To INFINITY and Beyond!!!” it’s a breeze. How do they do that?!
This weekend I spoke at a TedX event at the University of Toronto’s Scarborough campus. I titled my presentation “What Super Heroes Don’t Tell You” and had a lot of fun delivering my message.
I used a few big-event examples from my rowing career that tended to push my ego to believing that I was special. It’s easy to think that crossing an Olympic finish line in 1st place can make a person believe in their own Super Hero status! But almost invariably for me, something happened immediately after each of my big achievements that served to remind me to put my feet back on the ground. I was just a normal person who was doing some pretty special things; not a special person, and certainly not a super hero.
Eventually I figured it out. Read on…
I often cite a particular Ernie and Bert skit as one of my favourite examples of Art Imitating Life. I’ve wanted to write about it for a while – but I’ve found it tough figuring out how to approach it. If I’m not careful it will look like I’m suggesting that people can be ungrateful for what they receive – but that’s not what I see as the nugget in the discussion between these two Sesame Street icons. It’s more about the importance of knowing what it is that you want so as to avoid a sense of entitlement that you deserve everything that is available.
In the skit, Ernie has two pieces of pie. He’s going to give one to Bert, but first, he takes one for himself. The two pieces aren’t the same size, one is much bigger than the other and Ernie takes the bigger one. Bert is surprised by this and suggests that Ernie has made a selfish decision. The reason he provides for why he thinks so gets right to the heart of dangerous side of a blind pursuit of more.
I believe in more. I talk and write about it a lot. I firmly believe that in the presence of an ambition to achieve something there is always more that I can try, learn and do. The pursuit of more can be limitless. But it gets tricky if you try to apply this philosophy of more to things that you want to get (versus want to do,) and trickier still if you don’t know exactly what you want or why you want it.
Knowing what you want is the best way to be happy when you get it. Knowing why you want it provides you with some perspective when you achieve it and—as importantly—in case you don’t. It is the why you want something that helps you reassess, realign and if you choose – try again. Read on…